Executive High Pay | Because We’re Worth It | Hug a Fat Cat in 2014

rich_fatcat_banker_or_businessman_with_a_pot_of_gold_0521-1001-2913-3608_SMU

2014 has been another successful year for we the management elite. One is reminded of that dear old Greek chap Aristotle who so accurately opined

For that some should rule and others be ruled is a thing not only necessary, but expedient; from the hour of their birth, some are marked out for subjection, others for rule.

(Aristotle made his fortune from the invention of the Kebab and never looked back)

According to the High Pay Centre[1]    In 2014, we have done rather better financially than expected and one might reasonably ask: ‘What Recession?’

Our executive pay has grown from 60 times that of the average worker to almost 180 times since the 1990s said their report.

The FTSE 100 Chief Executives are paid an average £4.3 million[2], equivalent to hourly pay of well over £1,000. Executive pay has increased by 74% over the past decade, while wages for ordinary workers have remained flat.

Top bosses now take home more in two and a half days than the average worker earns in a year so we are well on our way to our target of; 1 day’s work for us equals 1 year’s work for the Great Unwashed, which feels about right.

Of course we have to thank a few others for helping us rise to these glorious heights where we rightfully belong. Our Conservative Party colleagues, for helping us drive the little people’s wages down enabling our profits to rise and triggering our performance related bonuses. The Socialist lot for electing Ed as their top man, who is as effective as a non-exec in a remuneration committee and of course, UKIP who have managed to convince everyone that it’s immigration that’s at fault and why the country is in such a state rather that the mis-management of the banking, financial and other key industries by us the Fat Cats[3].

To be clear we don’t want Farage’s lot in power or else we are going to have to pay a living wage to some UK born and bred chap who actually has some rights.

So in this season of goodwill to all, let us put apart our differences and remember those less fortunate and poorer than us by raising a toast to all skint people everywhere who support us by their toil and strife and especially those who aspire to be like us and don’t rock the boat.

A Happy Xmas to You All

Dick

Notes:

1: A bunch of socialist malcontents mostly on the average wage

2: For the benefit of HMRC we actually earn £43,000 in the UK the rest is earned in

Lichtenstein

3. Fat Cats are very popular on YouTube as although they are a teensie bit selfish

underneath they are lovely and huggable, just like us really.

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