Sir Philip Green’s masterclass in blame avoidance during MP’s grilling

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Top Model and Philanthropist Sir Philip Green counting his BHS dividends

In front of a committee of MPs investigating the complete fiasco that was the BHS sale to a former bankrupt and retail industry ignorant Dominic Chappel,  Philip Green was trapped in a corner, hoisted by his own petard and fighting for what was left of his reputation.

Much like a Bond movie, the MPs slowly and painfully extricated facts with their proverbial pliers whilst trying to strangle him with clear evidence that he was either complicit or  incompetent. His pained cries of “Sir, Sir, with great respect!” echoed around these chambers as he slithered, ducked and dived trying to avoid questions.

SPGs defence strategy was very simple:

  • He couldn’t remember the details (“I don’t do details”.”It was too long ago” . ” I’m a very busy man”)
  • His key phrase, even though he admitted he was accountable was: “It wasn’t my fault”
  • The fault lay with –  the regulators, the trustees, Chapell, journalists, CFO, Goldman Sachs, Olswang, Grant Thornton, KPMG, his management team (more to follow)
  • He is being bullied by MPs, the Press, everyone else and no-one is listening to him
  • On the actual deal mechanics anything positive that happened, he was the instigator and anything negative it was ‘his team’ as he was too important to bother with the detail
  • He was sure that most of the 11,000 people who are being fired have new jobs or will get new jobs
  • He finished by reading out his list of works for charity that he wanted kept secret

This was a masterclass in blame avoidance and these skills are taught in the MCA course ‘How to Be Successful Without Working Too Hard” by Dick Lannister. So if you want to ‘up your game but avoid the blame’ this is a tome worth reading.

So as Green shuffles back to Monaco to enjoy a well earned rest and to count his wife’s money we should pay tribute to the UK’s favourite Corporate Hooligan and hope that if there is a Brexit he doesn’t get deported back here.

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Philip Green’s dingy awaits in Monaco

Watch this space: Green was so backed into a corner that he has had to say that he will ‘contribute’ to the pension deficit but has cleverly said he has a ‘team of people’ and the regulator working on it. Again his hands will be clean if it goes wrong. The probable date for revealing his contribution is almost certainly June 24th, the day after the referendum.

Notes:

Despite the pension deficit of £571m, Green and his family collected £586m in dividends, rental payments and interest on loans during their 15-year ownership of the retailer.

BHS holding company, Taveta Investments is owned by Tina Green, who resides in Monaco, so Philip can work in the UK. Protestors claim that the couple avoid paying £285 million in UK personal income tax, that would be payable if a UK resident owned the company.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To Brexit or not to Brexit that is the question?

Here at the Institute we have been asked by our members should we stay or should we leave the European Union. The answer of course is that we will be backing the winning side. To decide now would be to rashly forfeit establishment goodwill, future business opportunities and a potential Knighthood or CBE if one made a mistake.

It is too early to say who is winning but to help our members and our blog readers, especially those who do not live in our Gloriously Scented Isle, we will be providing some background information on the campaigns and the personalities involved.

In essence all the opposition parties and most of their supporters are broadly in favour of staying in so politically this is an internal bun fight within the Tory party. For the voters then its a choice between believing the P.M. Dave ‘Flashman’ Cameron (Stay) or a group of has-been middle England Ministers led by Boris ‘BoJo’ Johnson (Leave)

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The Tory ‘Gang of Six’  team backing Brexit. Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Goofy, Pluto, Donald Duck and the other one

First off let’s look at one of the leading campaigners for the Leave campaign:

BORIS JOHNSON: 

On the ‘We don’t like Johnny Foreigner’ side is Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, Eton, Oxford, the outgoing Mayor of London and an MP. Variously described by his friends, as self centred, arrogant and focussed on self aggrandisement, he has taken this stance to ally himself with the 50% or more of the Tory Party who want out of the EU and who may well then vote him in as the next leader of the Tory Party. (What’s not to like about that? – Ed)

Once Britain has left the E.U. Boris’s master plan is for the UK, which will end up being England only as the rest of the Union will devolve,  to then ally itself to the USA, run in all likelihood by then by Trump Industries. This Axis of Weasels will then try to rule the world.

Of course as this will probably mean low or no taxes for the wealthy elite we at the I.M.M. are very much in favour of this master plan if it looks likely to succeed. It would also be most amusing to see our English underprivileged masses attempt to migrate across to Europe to take up low paid jobs there. We won’t tolerate ‘Jungle’ type camps at Dover though.

When compare side by side there is a distinct similarity between The Donald and BoJo, both in looks and personalities:

Boris and Trump

When you look at me, when you think of me, I am in paradise  – William Makepeace Thackeray

Both are mad as a box of frogs and are supported by the mad, bad and the terminally cross. Sadly there are lots of voters like that.

Boris said:  “You can’t rule out the possibility that, you know, beneath the carefully constructed veneer of a, you know, blithering idiot there lurks a blithering idiot”

Donald said:  “My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”  

So is the UK better in or out? Or is the ‘End of Days’ approaching (see above) therefore does it really matter?